Stream of Consciousness #3

I worked out today. I haven’t been consistent (surprise). I have gained weight, and I’m hoping to let that reality sustain my motivation.

I have been slowly improving at my abilities as a software engineer. Slowly. I don’t feel as useless or clueless as I used to. Having some sense of working knowledge and confidence at work has been nice. Naturally, of course, after writing this I’m going to spend the next two weeks struggling through something. That’s how karma/fate likes to play.

At some point I’d like to revamp this blog. Honestly, I should just take total control over it and write it myself. Right now I’m making very heavy use of a Hugo theme written by some person I don’t know. A while back they decided to nuke a bunch of old GitHub tags and it broke my workflow entirely. No notice. No mention of the sudden change in the README or release notes. It was a good little reminder that if you don’t own it, you don’t own it, and it can go poof at the click of a button.

I am so, so fatigued with worry about the world. I can’t help my concerns. I worry every day about the future of the country and of the planet. I don’t want my kids to grow up in a war or have their future taken from them. I wish I knew what I could do about that worry. It’s probably time to go back to therapy.

That’s all for this one. I don’t feel like this was a very high quality post, but hey, it’s my blog. It doesn’t matter what I write.